Friday, September 18, 2009

Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down

Death be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and
dreadfull, for, thou art not so

In one crappy week, we lost Henry Gibson, Patrick Swayze, and Mary Travers.  People die all the time and we try not to think about it.  But these three were special people to me.  Henry Gibson, because he was funny at a time in my life when I was beginning to understand what funny was.  Patrick Swayze, because he was as cool and tough as you could be while still being sensitive (plus he was close to my age).  Mary Travers, because as the Mary in Peter, Paul and Mary, sang songs that touch my soul.  Every time I begin a business trip "Leaving on a Jet Plane" rings through my heart and reminds that even though I'm far from those I love, in my heart they're close.

As I move into my second half-century, death seems to be a more constant companion.  My sister-in-law and my mother-in-law both have been diagnosed with cancer, but are taking remarkably different approaches.  My sister-in-law, in California, has an awful prognosis, but is attacking it aggressively and is determined to be remembered for how she lived, not how she died.  My mother-in-law, in Kalasin, Thailand, is, to the best of my understanding, basically ignoring it.  She was taking radiation treatment, but it was painful and so she stopped.  

My wife worries, but insists that there is nothing she can do to get her mother to understand.  I don't know if this is cultural/religious resignment or pure ignorance.  I try to explain that cancer will not go away with a pill (I have found so far that the definition of modern medicine to a farm village in Thailand exists in the form of a pill), but to no avail.  

 I can't dwell on my demise too much because I can't function in the melancholy of impermanence.  But a week like this forces the thoughts inward and reinforces my desire to not put off adventures and plans until I "retire."  To make sure I don't leave issues unresolved with those I care about.

Just keep moving forward in the circle experiencing what I can, learning what I will, loving those that I'm able to.

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

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